The Good to Me Podcast

001: My self-care story - How I went from bubble baths to boundaries.

March 30, 2020 Shanley Lewis Episode 1
The Good to Me Podcast
001: My self-care story - How I went from bubble baths to boundaries.
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode of The Good to Me podcast you learn exactly how I went from bubble baths to boundaries.

Today you will learn a little bit about me and how I got started on my self care journey, and learn the steps that you can take to get started on yours too!

I have learnt so much on this journey and I'm so excited to share all my secrets of you on how you can look after your mental well-being balancing and be the best version of yourself.
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speaker 0:   0:00
Welcome to the Good Me podcast, I'm sure needs no heist on self care coach. I'm here to help service providers and creatives to organise themselves and go from just surviving to thriving, so they can serve at their best. My podcast is filled with self-care, mindset, personal development and wellbeing tips and steps to help you to look after yourself and your mind. Be confident, calm and successful in your work and life without burning out. So in today's episode, I thought we'd start off with my storyvand how I went from bubble baths to boundaries. So let's start off with my story and my self-care are journey began when I started working in mental health, but before that I started working in mental health because, I'm going to share a bit about me. My dad experienced a stroke when I was around about 10 years old  after he's recovery, he had lost all his memory. He didn't know who we were, didn't know what a table was. Following his recovery, he experienced severe depression on growing up, I didn't actually understand what was going on at that time, so that led to a little frustration, but also a lot of curiosity. So I was really curious to find out what was going on because coming from a black ethnic minority background, mental health was something that wasn't really spoken about. So me being curious, I went to  study psychology. Um, that's where my passion grew. So I was able to find out more about what was going on in my dad's brain and understand his behaviour, and I would call myself a people person. So I'm very intrigued by people's brains and what they do and from studying psychology. I got all my answers so answers that I wasn't able to get from, I guess my parents or anybody around. And however, that's where I became more compassionate and understanding off what was going on for my dad on DH. The reason why I started working in mental health in the first place was because I remember asking my dad why didn't he go and seek some help on DH? He responded back to me, say in There's not gonna be anybody there for him to talk. Teo. There was gonna be nobody that could relate to him or that he could understand and that really broke my heart. And that's where my mission began, where I wanted to represent people from that background on DH help people two seek help on DH to get the help that they needed. And I didn't want any other factor to kind of get in the way off that. So me growing up my mom was very much a kay Give are very loving person on. I took on those values on these characteristics which I still love. To this day, however, I was one of those Children that took every lesson on and on and really ran with it. And I think I overdid it a little bit. So when I started working in went off. I was so happy about this. So I'm now here working as an assistant psychologist on a female acute ward, and I'm like, This's fantastic. So I remember running through the ward trying to help a young lady who was quite distressed at the time to calm down on DH because kind of great and from growing up, I was always told to put other people first and you know, once other people are OK, then you know you're you're good. So that was my motto. And I saw this lady Distress and I was running through the corridor trying to help her, and that was when my supervisor had stopped me. She was calling my name, but by the time she and you know you know, said my name and I acknowledge that she was calling me, I was already by the lady says she had stocks, helped the lady, and afterwards I came back to my supervisor and she was like, Suddenly you need to slow down. And I was thinking, What are you talking about? And she was like, You need to practise self care. So that was like, one of the first times I heard the word self care and at that time, self care to me. All I knew was from what I saw in the media anyway was, you know, go and get a massage, pulling a face mask, relaxing above. So that's exactly what I did reluctantly because I couldn't believe what she had said to me. And I thought, you know, I'm looking after myself. However, I had picked up a lot of bad habits along the way. I was, You know, people, please in never said no, um, always putting other people before me. So I was really used to working and function in in a state of anxiety, overwhelmed to the point where I was burned out and I didn't even know it. So I'm there in the bath trying Teo revive myself on DH. It wasn't working, so I did it for a few days and I was really frustrated. And I said, No, something. There must be more so bear in mind at this time. I am facilitating workshops on DH support in women too, I guess. Look after their mental well being. So I'm teaching CBT techniques. So that's cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to these ladies. However, they were really unwell at that point in time, so it was really hard for them to take in that information. So I was really frustrated. I remember sitting back one day go and this isn't right. This doesn't make sense. I'm teaching something that's been every valuable to people who need it, but it seems like it's too late. So that's where I guess good to me. Um, my brand. I was starting to be Beth however, I was stuck in a place where I was still bad out, so I was struggling to give birth to good to me. So to my brand, um so that's when I had to hone in and do some inner work and really understand what self care was for me on DH. That's where I actually I'm very much, very scientific. I'd like to find the definitions off things. So went on a search to find the definition, and at that time there wasn't much information about self care at that time on. Anyway. I came across a definition and their definition. Wass self care is the practise off taking action to look after your mental or your physical health. So it's about it's a practise. So that's one thing that I understood on DH that you have to take action. So that's when I started to dig even deeper and really figure out what my needs were. So I went on a journey to actually hone in and find out what myself care needs were. Andi. I realised that I was focusing more on the physical self care needs on what I needed to focus on was more of a thesis ecological when emotional self care needs, because that's was where I was poor. And that's where it was hard for me to function and me forward. So I started to implement different practises such as Affirmations Journal in self reflection, crying, singing all of those things that were going to help Teo meet myself. Care need. So one thing that I like to encourage lots of my clients or anybody when I'm introducing them into self care is not just Teo Randomly thing called pick a self care activity. I like them to make sure that they are meeting. They're self care needs. So it's really important to make sure that you are meeting your self care need. And another thing is that your self care needs can change. So depending on your circumstances, um, yourself care needs change. So I like Teo, say that we have either regular self care or we have emergency self care. So your regular self care is things that you would do on a daily basis or regularly to fill up your cup, and your emergency is when things kind of go bit. Pierre shaped when life throws random things that you, and that's when your self care needs to be up. So these are things that give you a quick fix to fill up your cup. So I got really clear on those things. So for me, my regular self care was just making sure that I journal. I pray and I sing and my emergency is going on the phone to my sister and having a good rabbit crying and gentle in So general is really important for me. Um, as one of my main self care needs is my emotional and psychological self care. So there's lots of different areas ofthe self care, and it's really important that you make sure that you're meeting the right need at the right time. One of the biggest lessons for me was to understand that you can't pull from an empty cup. So for me, um, I had lent that it was the other way around that actually, you're supposed to be filling up somebody else's carbon in your couple. Before, however, my cup was on empty and I was not able to give anymore. So that's where I learned the lesson off. Actually filling your car pop by doing different activities to help me before s so that I can then give and serve at my best. Andi I was actually watching a YouTube video, and I think it was an interview with Oprah on DH Aeon of ens ens on DH I am. They were talking about self care, self love, putting yourself first on DH young love. And then she mentioned something which really, really touched me when I say everywhere I can and and that's self care is not selfish but itself full. So she says that your cup needs to be full and running over everything that's inside your cup is for you and everything else that is writing over a splint and spilling over. The overflow is for everybody else, because if you think about it, we can't function on nothing. We function on positive energy on emotions, so when your cups empty most of the time, you are going to be in a negative state. So it's best to make sure that your cup is full. And during many off thes podcasts episodes, I'll be sharing you different ways that you can fill your cup up so that you can serve at your best So we touched on my journey off self care on how it all began for me. And I guess everybody's journey off self care is gonna be different. So my tips, But I would like to leave with you is tio ensure. Throughout this journey, you're checking in with yourself. Um, again, Remember, in just to start with the basics, making sure that your meat in your self care needs at the time on DH remember in tow always be flexible on this journey. So throughout this time there may be ups and there may be downs on. There may be times where you be sticking to your regular self care routine on DH. There's other times where you'll be using the emergency on That's OK, so that's all part of the journey you need. Teo. Feel your cop up before you can help anybody else before you can be a benefit anybody else before you can serve at your best, produce at your best and be your best. So I hope he enjoyed this episode on DH. You have made the choice to start your journey yourself care journey. Don't forget to leave a review on subscribe on any information that I mentioned in this episode. It's gonna be left in the show nights. So thank you for changing into the good to me. Podcast on, listening on. Make sure that you follow me on Instagram at Shanley Lewis. And if you're not already my brand good to me, you, Kay, make sure you join my Facebook group yourself Care squad on head over to my website. Goodtomeuk.com to learn more about my products and services. See in the next episode.